Christopher Nolan Reboots Superman?: A Hammer Rant on Batman and Superman

I would hate it if Chris Nolan, the man that killed Batman for me, got his hands on the Man of Steel. Nolan has a terrible habit of making EVERYTHING darker and edgier. Superman is inherently not Dark or Edgy. Superman is the antithesis of Batman, who Nolan made even DARKER. Batman was inititally dark and edgy, but he became more well rounded as time went on, especially with the addition of his sidekicks. Nolan vehemently refuses to admit the existence of Robin or Batgirl or even Batwoman. Nolan wants to keep the initial image of Batman as the permanent image of Batman. Even in Batman's REAL origin story from the comics, he got kinda broody, but only to the same extent as Anakin in Star Wars episode 2. However Nolan's Batman went completely off the Sasuke scale. He broke the chart at around 4 super-emos, well over the Sasuke limit. Now back to Superman. Superman since his inception has always been inherently a force for good, and never became brooding, even after his "death" during comics Dark Ages. Superman is always good in a 1950s utopian way, and always defeats Lex Luthor and whatnot without breaking his rock solid morals, unlike Batman who has taken up beating up people for eating ice cream and carrying a Bat-handgun. If Nolan does end up getting his hands on Superman for a reboot of the series he has to do the following:
1. Nolan must re-present Superman's origin story. If he is doing a proper reboot of the Superman franchise, he is going to open up Superman to a whole new batch of fans, kinda like Abrams did with Star Trek. In order for these people who statistically don't read comic books to comprehend the character of Superman, he needs to have his origin story retold.
2. Superman must fight Lex Luthor. Luthor has ALWAYS been the only legitimate enemy Superman has. True, Superman has other villains like Brainiac and Bizarro, but none of them were particularly a challenge, with the exception of Doomsday. But Luthor, a mere mortal, is consistently a challenge to defeat in the comics due to his genius level intellect.

Hammer Rant: BioWare

Game developer BioWare, which spawned the magnum opus KotOR, and the “epic” Mass Effect is renowned for having wonderful story. However what they have in story will not make up for the awful gameplay and the apparent unoriginality. I will admit that KotOR is the ONLY RPG I’ve ever truly enjoyed, and it is definitely the only RPG I became immersed in. Part of it is due to my being able to choose the stories pace and I could recruit people to my party in any order I wished. Amazingly, none of KotOR is useless grind. Normally RPGs, especially ones like Borderlands and Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2 pour on the grind until the player is submerged in it. Apparently BioWare’s recent penchant for adding grind to games is part of some genius scheme to cash in on the MMORPG craze. MMORPGs are ALL samey grind with useless NPCs giving every player the same quest to kill the same enemy and collect upgrades or experience or cash or whatever. BioWare’s recent release, Mass Effect 2, is blighted by grind. BLIGHTED! The game REQUIRES that you go to random planets, scan them from orbit for resources and then send down probes to extract said resources. This MANDATORY part of the game is just about as fun as it sounds: NOT AT ALL. Horribly, it is the only way that you can get the best weapons and armor and even the best ending. Are they kidding? That turned me off Mass Effect 2 entirely. While the story is (occasionally) brilliant enough to get me playing it again, the gameplay makes me want to stop again. The second an enemy even gets a target lock on Shepard (the protagonist of Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2) he goes diving for cover. I know that BioWare tried to be “realistic” by doing this but all trace of realism flies right out of the game the second I defeat said enemy by using my Adept powers to pull them towards one of my squad mates who promptly shoots them in the face.

Hammer Reviews: Dante's Inferno Demo

Dante's Inferno shows a lot of promise. Loosely based off of the epic Dante's Inferno by Dante. In the game demo, Dante is a knight of the 3rd crusade stationed at the fortress city of Acre near Jerusalem. It turns out that Richard, the leader of the crusade, took some people prisoner to bargain with Saladin. This plan is set to the wayside and Dante must guard them. They somehow escape and attack Dante. Later, Dante learns that the love of his life, Beatrice, has been slaughtered. She prayed to God to let the poet Virgil guide Dante through Hell. Dante embarks on a frantic journey through the 9 rings of Hell to find her soul and rescue her. Interestingly, though almost none of this is based off of the epic, most of the enemies you fight are based off of Dante's description. The controls are fluid and intuitive, and the graphics are fan-dabby-babulous, but why shouldn't they be? All games have amazing graphics these days. The thing that grabbed me about Dante's Inferno is that it has a decent story. Other than games like the Silent Hill, Final Fantasy, and the Legend of Zelda, story has been set aside for epic fights. Dante's Inferno is one of 2 recent releases that has an amazing story, the other being Bayonetta. I am actually looking forward to playing the full game after I get it. Dante's Inferno is released 2/9/10. Buy it. The story is worth it.

Hammer Reviews: The Wicked Trilogy

The three Wicked series books, written by author Gregory Maguire, are probably some of the best books written since 1990. The first book, Wicked, has been turned into a Broadway musical, and is supposedly getting a movie version. Wicked reimagines the world of Oz created by L. Frank Baum in the early 20th Century. Instead of focusing on Dorothy and her adventures, it focuses instead on the Witches of Oz, well before the appearance of Dorothy. Wicked starts with the birth of Elphaba Thropp, better known as the Wicked Witch of the West. From there we see her slowly become the "Wicked" witch, but it seems that there is far more to her story. The sequel, Son of a Witch, picks up where the first left off, with the death of Elphaba Thropp. This time we focus on her maybe son, Liir as he goes about doing what he must, and continuing his mother's mission. Son of a Witch ends as the first begins, with the birth of a green skinned girl. 8 years after the end of Son of a Witch, we get the story A Lion Among Men. This one follows the story of the Cowardly Lion, and his part in the aforementioned adventures, as well as developing his own story. Maguire is a literary genius because he created within the course of one novel an emotional attachment from the reader to the characters and the new reimagined Oz. It took 3 Silent Hill games, 4 seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, 3 Star Wars movies just to develop the same relationships in their respective universes. This is why I would consider the Wicked Trilogy to be some of the best modern literature ever written, not only because it refreshed an old and stale series into a new entity, but because it is very easy to develop an emotional attachment to the character. We begin to empathise more with Elphaba (named after L. Frank Baum's initials, a phonetic pronunciation of LFB)than we empathise with Dorothy. I highly recommend any and all of these books to just about anyone and everyone. I'm a guy and I read the first book in less than an hour. It has to be an AMAZINGLY good book for me to finish it that fast. You can never again look at The Wizard of Oz the same way.

The Song of Silent Hill: The Ballad of James and Mary

My wife died,
coupla months ago.
So it is rather odd,
that I should recieve
a letter from one long dead

"James," wrote she, "if you love me,
and I know that you do,
Can you follow me, to that place,
our special place,
that town called Silent Hill?"

And so with letter in hand,
I set out for the town of Silent Hill,
a resort town where we vacationed,
before she was taken ill.
We spent happy hours in that town
the town called Silent Hill.

I stare long at her photograph,
deep into the eyes. I don't smile much,
and I may not be perfect,
but I loved her and she loved me
In that town of Silent Hill.

And when she had a wasting disease,
I would see her in the hospital,
and bright flowers I would bring.
"James," said she,"I don't deserve these,
see how ugly I have become?"
But I brought them just the same
'Cuz I loved her so much

She would confide for hours
in a little girl, Laura was her name.
She told her all about me.
How I rarely smile, but it doesn't matter
because he will come to take us away.
"He may seem course and mean,
but he loves me, and I love him"
She told her in the hospital.

Now I am off to Silent Hill
with letter in hand, and photo in
my pocket. Because I loved Mary,
and I still do. How I long to see her again!

The Song of Silent Hill: Tale of a Writer

My name is Harry Mason,
Have you seen my daughter?
We were in an accident
and it is very important
that I find her soon.
Her name is Cheryl.
Have you seen her?
Hello is there anyone there?
And what of this fog,
this monstrous fog,
that rolls from the
surface of the Lake.
Can anybody see me? Hello?
Is there anybody there?
Have you seen a liffle girl?
She's my daughter. She's 8 years old.
Can somebody please help me?
Does anyone have a flashlight?
What is that figure, enshrouded in mist?
I wish I could see what it is.
Hello! Cheryl!? CHERYL?
Can somebody please help me?
Excuse me Officer, can you help me?
I am looking for my daugher.
Her name is Cheryl. Can you help
me find her, please?
Officer? Hello? Are you listening to me?
You, woman, can you help me?
You HAVE seen my daughter!?
Wait, what do you mean, what do you
need her for?
You are a monster unlike all the others,
how can you kill my daughter?
Who cares about your birthing god? YOU
SACRIFICED MY DAUGHTER!
Wait, Cheryl, is that you?
Oh thank you for returning to me?
A bundle for me? What is it?
A girl, like the one I lost?
What kind of name, Heather I think,
would suit this child well. This town isn't so bad,
I could settle down here and raise her.